Ever since I figured out how to use the camera app on our bulky 2010 laptop, I started making videos. It began as filming skits with my sister and capturing how we flawlessly hit Katy Perry’s high notes in “Firework”.
As someone who did not make an income at the time but whose love language was gifting giving, I quickly ran out of the types of card, coupons books and drawings I could make for those I loved. This is when I turned to Windows Live Movie Maker to produce low quality, but very thoughtful content. I created photo slideshows and video montages on the beat of some heartwarming music for my family and friends. What I created made them cry (happy tears of course… I hope at least). I was astonished by the impact I could have with a few videos, a subpar video editing software and my time. It made me feel capable and gave me a sense of purpose.
I finally upgraded to iMovie when I got my iPad in grade 5— shoutout to the BYOD movement for this making this possible. One Boxing Day, my dad decided to buy our first DSLR camera out of the blue and since then, I’ve made sure to make the most of it.
I spent my middle school years finally being able to execute my creative projects with the newfound confidence and tools to bring those ideas to life. I was in my initial creative era at that time writing spoken word, pushing my limits with drawing/sketching and using any opportunity I had to make videos. I eventually began combining the different passions I had. I created short films around the spoken word poems I wrote, defaulted towards the option of making videos for school projects and continued to make videos for my friends, teachers and family to show my appreciation for them in my life. These videos were an avenue for me to express my voice clearly and powerfully. I even got the chance to showcase some of these videos during school assemblies and in a local film festival.
Like any tween in 2016 consuming the peak of the vlog content era, I started filming anything remotely interesting in my life (mind you, the bar was VERY low). This led to end of grade 8 where I filmed and edited my first official vlog recapping the graduation trip to Ottawa our cohort went on. I spent days editing the video to find the perfect intro and background music after upgrading to using Adobe Premiere Pro (bringing in the big boys) before sharing it with my friends. And to this day, no matter how low quality that video is, we rewatch it every year and reminisce on those memories feeling very grateful to have taken the time to document them.
2017 - first “cinematic” sequence
2016 - first vlog intro
Come high school, I fell into a slump of not having the time to create art of any sort solely for myself. Maybe that sounds like an excuse now, but I chose to prioritize the other commitments I took on then and come to terms with the fact that I did not have all the time in the world to do the million things on my plate (a lesson I’m still learning to be honest). I only painted again when I had to make an art portfolio for class. I only wrote another spoken word because my friend convinced me to write one with her. The same happened when it came to videography. I tried to combine the things I had to do with the creative outlets I used to enjoy so much. I created recap videos for the organization I ran and the summer program I went to, and went a little overboard in the videos I submitted for scholarships and the hackathons I partook in. Either way, time and time again I concluded that filmmaking was a skill I trusted and believed in myself in no matter what. Because I enjoyed every part of that process, it didn’t matter what others thought of my work. It didn’t matter that there were so many people better than me. It didn’t matter that I still had a long way to go. Just finishing a project was enough to instill my pride and confidence in my work.
2020 - hackathon presentation
2018 - shad application
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sq0HbNZJUQo
2019 - sparkin’ stem conference recap
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HR0-V9CIBn4
2020/2021 - scholarship application
2019 - shad ubc recap
2021 - valedictorian campaign
In my first year of university, I was in a similar boat. I didn’t have time to prioritize my creative outlets while transitioning into the chaos of school, co-op and new friendships— then again, maybe I just didn’t make time for them. I’ve filmed vlogs of all the highlights of the past 4 years, but have yet to put together any of them. I spent hundreds of hours scrolling through creative films others made on Instagram and YouTube in awe, wishing I could produce work as inspiring as them. I became very frustrated with myself for this. Why couldn’t I just pick up my camera and start? Why did I let my imposter syndrome inhibit my motivation to do something I know I truly loved?
2022 was a year full of unexpected challenges, a year I had to write a 16 page reflection to be able to process everything. I left the year feeling disappointed in myself. I know I should give myself more credit for how I tackled everything last year, but I ended the year feeling like I didn’t believe in myself like I used to anymore.
So, I decided that that’s exactly what I’m going to be focusing on coming into 2023 (referencing my 2023 reminders). I want to tap into things that used to give me energy and an outlet to express myself - film, writing, art. I’m choosing to dive into the mindset that making something exist is more important than making something perfect.
Filmmaking has made me more mindful of the present moment. When I go anywhere, my mind automatically notices all the small details that create the scene of that moment— the sound of the heater buzzing, tires hitting the gravel on an uneven road, the reflections of passerby on the windows of local shops.
When I’m editing, it feels like I’m solving a puzzle. Desperately trying to figure out how to save the sound from an impromptu interview I filmed is truly the epitome of problem solving. Every video I edit, I come across different challenges and have the desire to try new styles leading to a never-ending space for improvement. The difference between the miles of improvement I have left in filmmaking and linear algebra, is that I want to show up everyday to work on the former.
From planning to directing to filming to editing, I truly enjoy every part of this process. The fact that I’ve been doing this at different scales for the past decade and still enjoy it must mean something, right?
More than anything though, I want to tell stories and I want to tell them well. I feel like I have an eye for design and I want to learn how to optimize my potential in visual storytelling. I want to get better everyday. I want people to look at my work and resonate with it in some way. I want it to provoke flickers of thought and conversation.
Now that I’ve established the why behind my desire to dive into filmmaking, it’s time to figure out how I’m going to make this happen while I juggle everything else in my life.
Come January, my initial goal was to simply pick up the camera again and begin filming things with more intention. The only videos I really took for the last couple years were shaky vlogs and capturing sunsets/sunrises. Now the goal was to fiddle around with the random buttons on my camera and get comfortable practicing basic composition techniques.